August 2010
2 posts
WatchStill funny after all these years. Now let us all hail the supreme comic genius that is and always has been Alec Baldwin.
July 2010
7 posts
“Keep your mouth shut…keep your shoes on your feet. Mouth shut. Shoes on feet. Do...”
– Karen Russell, “St. Lucy’s Home for Girls Raised by Wolves,” read beautifully here by Joanna Gleason.
I am occasionally misled by pretty things
Sometimes I see a beautiful infographic and think, “That’s great!” And then I look closer at the info that’s in the graphic and think, “Actually I don’t care about this at all.”
Another reason I'm a Mets fan →
On the front page of TVNewser today, a photo of Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly and Geraldo Rivera having a nice time together at Yankee Stadium. Upsetting.
My dad gets a free car! (Actually, not free)
I got the following email from my dad yesterday:
Hola Janet. Yesterday turned out to be a busy day. We got a brand new car- a 2010 VW Jetta- for FREE! We went out just to test drive the car- and the salesman told us about a special deal on a lease- 0 down , VW paid the licensing fees and the first month’s payment- so we have to pay 239 per month plus sales tax of 23 per month for 35...
April 2010
3 posts
One twin says, "No, it's cool, you go be born....
Twins! Born a week apart!
CLEVELAND, April 1 (UPI) — An Ohio woman said one of her twins was not ready to be born when the other emerged 12 weeks early and remained in the womb for another week.
Jennifer Renz, 26, of North Canton, Ohio, said her daughter, Grace, was born 12 weeks premature March 22 at 1 pound and 3 ounces, WEWS-TV, Cleveland, reported Thursday.
However, doctors at...
March 2010
4 posts
“I received the bill. It was mine. And yet, I asked myself, was it really? After...”
– From Bundle.com, the very, very funny story of one unapologetically unpaid $800 phone bill.
February 2010
2 posts
4 tags
Oprah and Gayle talk about the time Oprah just...
(Or how O & G pretend their friendship is awesomely normal, but actually, it seems pretty weird. Which is I guess understandable when your best friend is worth $2.3 billion.)
Oprah: I remember once when Gayle came to my house: I was already making a lot of money, and she was making not a lot of money. And we discovered I had $422 in my pocket.
Gayle: $482.
Oprah: Okay, $482.
Gayle: But who's counting?
Oprah: I had $482 just sort of stuck into a coat pocket.
Gayle: In your pants pocket. You know how sometimes you just find a five? Or a 20 is like, whoo! She pulls out $482...in $20s. And I'd gotten to Chicago on a Super Saver ticket; you know, back when you had to buy 30 days in advance for a decent price. She was living in Chicago, and I was married, and we had scrimped—I remember that once Billy and I didn't have $10 to go to the movies. He was in law school and I was the only one working. So for her to pull out $482 was like, wow! She goes, "God, where'd this come from? You want it?" And I went, "Oh, no. No. I'm good. I'm fine." But I'm thinking, "God, that would pay the light bill, the phone bill, the gas bill." And she just puts it back. It's probably still in that damn pocket. She was just extending a gesture, just being nice: "Oh, you want it?"
Oprah: But years later, she said, "You remember that time you pulled out the $482?"
Gayle: I said, "I wanted that money so bad!"
Oprah: "I needed that money so bad, but I wouldn't take it." You know what that's like? That is incredible for somebody like me who lives in a world where everybody wants a piece of you. I mean, people feel they deserve a piece of you. Strangers think that.
Gayle: Now I happily accept all gifts. [Laughter] No, but I just wouldn't have felt right.
Oprah: She's never asked me for a dime. There is a level of mutual respect that comes from being with somebody you know doesn't want anything from you but you. There will never be an ulterior motive. I have to say, this would have been a much different relationship had that ever happened.
(from O Magazine, August 2006)
January 2010
3 posts
We visit Bundle and investigate our neighbors'...
If job security even exists in journalism these days, my job at SmartMoney had it. The work was interesting, my editors and co-workers were smart and funny. I liked going to work every day. And four months ago, I gave it up to join a Web startup without offices or even a name — just five employees, healthy funding, and an ambitious goal: to transform the way people in their 20s and 30s think about...
Lou Anders tells it like it is
“I submit to you that Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is nothing more nor less than a decent into the abyss, a journey through a dark, stygian underworld, a descent into the depths of Hell.”
— Sci-fi author and buzzkill Lou Anders, making the argument that Roald Dahl’s children’s classic is nothing more than a candy-coated version of Dante’s Inferno. Only...
December 2009
5 posts
3 tags
I regret my PSFC membership for the first time
Dear Park Slope Food Coop Members,
Congratulations on a successful T-shirt contest! I can’t wait to wear my “Will work for food” T-shirt. I can only hope that next year’s T-shirt will say, “Homeless, hungry, please help.”
Sincerely, Janet Paskin
#25929a
My 10-year-old self gets a warm fuzzy. Kinda.
My GF’s “bigger person” reaction: “You’re kidding me.” But then: “Wow — she’s been carrying that around for a long time! Maybe now she can let it go. Plus, isn’t it nice for your 10-year-old self to know that really wasn’t about you?”
My reaction: Oh, get therapy.
November 2009
2 posts
T. Pain Will Spend $2.9 Million to Get Into Your...
Listening to T. Pain’s “Can’t Believe It” last night (hey, thanks Pandora!), I was struck by what appeared to be his money-is-no-object determination to get it on. So today, I broke it down. It turns out that some of the things that T. Pain mentions are much more affordable than he makes them sound. I’m not saying T. Pain isn’t serious about you, but if he...
Ice Kremlin! →
October 2009
1 post
Making your own coffee will save you $1,040/year....
In this public service announcement, which is part of the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants‘ admirable effort to get people to save more, the spokespig tells a hapless shmoe that no truck full of money will save him from his financial woes, but — but! — if he starts making his coffee at home, instead of buying it out, he could save $1,040 per year.
Well. Would that it were that...